Maniac

GLaDOS was displeased.  Her unstoppable test subject was slowing down.  The problem didn't seem to be physical; she had rested earlier, and her oxygen supply was laced with adrenal vapor.  Judging by her past performance, she should have been able to keep going for several chambers, yet.  Perhaps the trouble was psychological.  Well, motivating a test subject to test was a science GLaDOS was well versed in.

"You seem to be slowing down, test subject.  Is your weight finally getting the better of you?"

Chell ignored the AI, continuing her slow trek through the chamber.  

Okay, so gentle taunts weren't working.  Time for the guilt trip, if a murderer like her could even feel guilt.

"I know you can do better than this.  Are you being deliberately antagonistic towards me?  You're not just hurting me, you're holding back science.  Is that what you want?"

Nothing.

Well, it wasn't as though she wasn't solving the test properly, she was just doing it agonizingly slowly.  What this subject needed was some motivation to solve the test faster.  Promises of cake wouldn't do, and while threats of deadly neurotoxin worked wonders, she didn't have the necessary neurotoxin emitters in this chamber.  She'd have to remedy that, later.

For now though, GLaDOS needed a way to up the pace a little.  Pace… keeping time…maybe music?  She briefly contemplated smooth jazz before deciding against it.  She needed something fast paced, something that would suit her subject.  A title came up.

Oh, this should do nicely.


Chell's policy when it came to anything Aperture was to give them nothing, which was why she never spoke.  She even did her best to keep grunts of pain to a minimum, which was no easy feat when you were getting shot by turrets.  She'd determined not to give up, but even so, she had to admit that GLaDOS' promise of a lifetime (and maybe even an afterlife) of never ending tests was getting to her.

"You seem to be slowing down, test subject.  Is your weight finally getting the better of you?"

Chell ignored the voice, taking her time checking for hidden turret sentries. Why bother rushing when this was all she'd ever have to look forward to?

"I know you can do better than this.  Are you being deliberately antagonistic towards me?                                                                                          You're not just hurting me, you're holding back science.  Is that what you want?"

Chell grimaced.  Forget science.  She could live the rest of her life without hearing that word again.  Not that she had any choice in the matter.  She dropped her weighted storage cube on the button dejectedly and proceeded to the exit.

"Finally.  I've got a surprise for you," GLaDOS voiced cheerily over the speakers as the elevator door closed around her.

Chell glanced up warily.  GLaDOS and surprises were never a good combination.  Unfortunately, there was nowhere to go but to the next chamber.  Bracing herself, Chell walked towards the chamber door.  

She didn't know what she had been expecting when she entered the doorway, but it hadn't been this.  Un-stationary scaffolds, aerial faith plates…This had to be one of the most benign chambers she'd seen since waking up.  A sound like a record needle hissed over the intercom, and Chell heard the upbeat intro to a somewhat familiar song.

"For this next test, you'll be pacing yourself to this song. While I was browsing for something that would make you a little less sluggish I ran across this, and something about the title seemed fitting."

Fitting?  As her foot tapped unconsciously to the beat, Chell had to laugh when she heard the chorus.

She's a maniac, maniac on the floor… She leaped eagerly onto an aerial faith plate.  Maybe it won't be so bad here after all.